Saturday, March 22, 2014

Love or None at All

A friend once asked me, "If you get to choose between 2 people, (scenario 1) would you choose someone you love but that someone does not love you back? Or (scenario 2) would you choose someone who loves you but you do not love in return?" Though question huh.

My first answer, without thinking, would have been to scenario 1. Who would not like to be a martyr in this day and age? Who would pass-up for the chance to make a person fall head-over-heels in love with you? If you asked me 10 years ago, in a heartbeat surely picking this person would have been my answer. But, you do not get to pass elementary, high school and college without getting crashed and burned a few times in love.

Yes, you guessed it. Once upon a time, I used to love someone like that. Sad to say, in the end, Person A liked someone else better than me. So I had to say good bye. Not so sad now that I summarized it in three sentences. I skipped the drama, the crying, the pinning down for this guy and ultimately begging not to leave me. The humiliation, the hurt and the pain I felt at that time does not feel worth waiting for this guy to love me in return. This relationship blossomed to bitterness, resentment and the most important one is wisdom. Wisdom not to choose someone who does not love you in return.

Which leaves us to our second scenario. Surely by now you would have guessed that I gave the 2nd scenario as my choice, but I could not. How could I? It was still similar to scenario 1, it is just that this time Person A in my story a while ago would be replaced by me.

May be there was this chance that I could love this person in return. That slim chance. That ray of sun shine for the both of us. Alas, it did not happen. Yes people. Crash and burn number two. I could not return the love even if I wanted too. I could not lie to his face and tell him the three words he wanted to hear. I liked him, but not enough to define as love. My heart was in agony. A few months passed, our relationship became a whisper in the background. An insignificant fly on the wall. Just there. Until one of us decides to kill it. 

I killed it. 

Swatted that flicker of fondness to smithereens - smashed and crushed until it became too broken to repair. Remember person A? Yes, I killed it by running away with Person A (who did not actually loved me).

And there you have a perfect triangle with me in the middle and 2 guys from my past. Such a perfect scenario for the question my friend was asking. Who was better than the other? Let me be the one to ask you this time, which would you choose? Then, hold that thought.

I smiled to myself. I knew the answer to this tricky question.

Let me point you back to my title to complete the full circle - Love or none at all. 

Dear reader, do not think that because you were only presented with 2 choices that the third choice is not an option. You always have a third option.

Why not pick someone? This would be my third and last story to share my dear readers. I like you to meet this guy who, I like to assume, loves me the best in the world. I was damn lucky that he loved me during my hurt, understood I needed space and waited for me until I was ready to give love another shot. I did not write this to boast how perfect our relationship is. Trust me, it is not. But sharing more than 5 years (and counting) together has been a wonderful experience even with our ups and downs. 

I said to my friend, "I pick no one. I do not want someone I do not love nor do I want someone that does not return my love. I will not settle for less than I deserve." 

Yes, you deserve to love and be loved in return. No ifs, no buts.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Taking Chances

Taking Chances

by Molly McAdams

Summary (from GoodReads):

Eighteen year old Harper has grown up under her career Marine of a father's thumb. Ready to live life her own way and experience things she's only ever heard of from the jarheads in her father's unit; she's on her way to college at San Diego State University. 

Thanks to her new roommate, Harper is introduced to a world of parties, gorgeous guys, family and emotions. Some she wasn't expecting yet, and others she never knew she was missing.

She finds herself being torn in two as she quickly falls in love with her boyfriend Brandon, and her roommate's brother Chase. Covered in tattoos, known for fighting in the Underground and ridiculously muscled...they're exactly what she was always warned to stay away from, but just what she needs. Despite their dangerous looks and histories, both adore and would do anything for Harper, including stepping back if it means she's happy. 

Her first year away is turning out to be near perfect, but one weekend of giving in to heated passion will change everything.


I didn't like this book. Seriously. I with all of the reviews here, I thought this would be like Beautiful Disaster and hoping it would be better

At first, it was ok and I was thinking of giving it a 3 star rating even if it reminded me so much of Beautiful Disaster but I still continued to read that the author might include a twist or two. But as I turn each page, it just became too draggy. The rating just went downhill from there. It just did not get my attention. In the middle of the book, I just skimmed and scanned most of the story hurrying to finish it. I felt like I wasted my time reading this book.

Generally , I did not like it because:
1. The characters are too perfect. There were no flaws. No secrets. I did not feel connected with any of them. The flow of the story was too straight. 

2. I felt like the author was too much hung up with Beautiful Disaster story plot. I felt she tried to recreate it and lengthen the story the way she would have like it to end. Where is the originality?

3. There were no character build up. I did not get to know the characters. There was no individuality. Were some of them bubbly? Angsty? Indifferent? All I know they were too love crazed to be anything else. Where were their individual personality? 

I really would not recommend you to read this if you:


I am rating this one a lonely one-star. I don't like giving these reviews. But I just felt like it was promising given the summary and other reviews I read. I really got disappointed. 

Saturday, April 28, 2012

The Selection

The Selection
by Kiera Cass

Summary (from GoodReads):

For thirty-five girls, the Selection is the chance of a lifetime. The opportunity to escape the life laid out for them since birth. To be swept up in a world of glittering gowns and priceless jewels. To live in the palace and compete for the heart of the gorgeous Prince Maxon.

But for America Singer, being Selected is a nightmare. It means turning her back on her secret love with Aspen, who is a caste below her. Leaving her home to enter a fierce competition for a crown she doesn't want. Living in a palace that is constantly threatened by violent rebel attacks.

Then America meets Prince Maxon. Gradually, she starts to question all the plans she's made for herself- and realizes that the life she's always dreamed of may not compare to a future she never imagined.


I just knew this book would be on my favourite list! I just think this book is stellar! I love the cover. It is so eye catching. I just knew I have got to have this book. I was so excited when it was released. From the cover I knew that it would be something revolving around prince and princesses.  I am such a sucker for these kinds of stories.

The book has such a simple plot. It seems like a game show where you display 35 girls in a line and you get to fall in love and pick one. Ofcourse from there the author needs to get creative on how she will twist the story. Generally I felt like this book was published to get the feel of the setting, the caste system, the royal family, the kingdom, and what troubles the kingdom faces.

I did love America's character. She is a simple girl that clamours for romance and true love with a good sense of responsibility. She is a breeze to get to know. 

Although, I did notice a few things about this book. While I was reading it, I really thought that it looked to me that it is somewhat similar to The Hunger Games. there are some sort of similarities you will not miss if you've read the book. Such as the use of media. Although the media here does not take a big role in the book unlike in the Hunger Games, you will still get the feel that it was somehow influenced (just a little bit). There is also an issue on the caste system where it is represented by a number (1 being the highest and 8 being the lowest). They are allowed to have specific jobs depending on the number.

I also found the love triangle kind off a bore. Aspen's character is a little weird. One minute he is the perfect BF, the other he is like a prideful male. How confusing can you get? While on the other hand, Prince Maxon is such a dream boat. Too much of a gentleman. too much of a prince. It almost feel like he does not have a character at all. He is just too good to be true.

Overall, I cannot wait for the next book! I am giving this 4 out of 5 stars! I definitely have high hopes for this series. As I said, I feel like this book is more of an overview where direction the author wants to go.